not-john-watson:

suicidalsouls:

thisneverendingwar:

I absolutely HATE feeling like this. I get so down, sad, empty, lonely and upset. It makes me feel worthless and my mind’s a mess.
No one needs me. They’re all having fun without me. And if I’d disappear, no one would even bother to notice it.

I had a therapist once who called it “The lenor woman”, referring to a textil softener ad (called Lenor) in the 90s.

There is this woman who has finished all her house chores, including the washing, but a shadow comes out of her, frowning and looking at the freshly washed clothing. “That could be so much softener, nicer, do it again.” So the woman washes the clothing again - this time with Lenor. The point of the ad is reached, lenor makes everything fresher blabla, and in the end the shadow crosses its arms in front of its chest and says “Why didn’t you do that before?”

As silly as the analogy seems, it’s pretty much how I feel most of the time. My inner Lenor woman tells me I could do better, more, that I fail at everything, that everyone is better off without me, that I should improve myself, that nothing is good enough.

And when I try, and do something good, it/she discredits it by saying “Why not do it like that in the first place?!”